Yea though I walk through the valley in the shadow of death I shall fear no evil, ‘cause I’m the meanest motherfucker in the valley

United States Marine Corps Force Recon. bar chant.


Do you think ~everyone~ has the ability to travel and/or godphone?

No. I don’t think everyone’s meant to. And I don’t think everyone who says (or even thinks) they do actually does. I think that, currently, those are the cool things to do and, for a lot of people, it’s become a community-wide game. I think a lot of the people who do pretend use their experiences to manipulate and hurt other people, which I’ve seen more times than I can be comfortable with. I think that there are a lot of predators with fake godphones in the world. I have certain acquaintances that seem to attract them and I’ve seen the word godphone used to excuse a lot of horrible fucking behavior, and I don’t think that’s even a little bit okay.

But, no. To answer your question without the rambling, I don’t think that everyone is meant to do either of those things. And I think that, if people spent less time measuring their accomplishments by everyone else’s, I’d have a lot fewer frustrated people in my inbox every day telling me they feel like a useless witch.

There are lies you tell to impress people—I am. I do. I have.—and there are lies you tell to protect yourself—I’m not. I’ve never. I won’t.

Every lie I tell falls into the second category. Because I like privacy. Because I like to be left alone. Because I like to feel safe with my secrets.


Shit You’ll Need:

  • Water (Blessed, Holy, Moon, Storm, Salt and most other varieties are usable)
  • A bundle of herbs (Rosemary, lavender, and sweetgrass and are good suggestions)

Step One: Pour your water of choice into a bowl. Dip the bundle of herbs into it and ‘paint’ it on your exterior window sills and door frames. (If your tradition or practice has specific words or prayers for cleansing, use them here.) For extra cleansing and protection, paint and ‘X’ on each door.

Step Two: Use the herb bundle to flick or sprinkle the water around the interior of the house. If your tradition has specific dictations as to what directions to start in and how to move about the house, follow them.

Step Three: Bury the herb bundle outside of your fence/yard. Pour the leftover water over your front steps.